Being a B.i.t.c.h isn't a Bad Thing

So as I wrote before, four of my good girlfriends are going through a break-up. Yesterday I took one of them out to lunch and we evaluated her situation. “Liza” (I’ve changed her name) is a stunning, girl, 27, a professional at a major magazine, incredibly sweet & loyal, but she’s also been broken up with by every guy she’s been with. I forgot to mention Liza’s girlfriend Tanzy was with us. Every guy Tanzy has been with has asked her to marry them. She’s in a great relationship right now but all of her exes are begging her to take them back. So Tanzy and I were asking Liza, what is it that she thinks goes wrong in her relationships. Liza’s first response was, “I don’t know. I cook, clean, do their laundry; call them all the time to make sure they’re good." Tanzy and I gave Liza a look of sheer horror. I love my boyfriend to death, but Good God Almighty! I can’t even picture myself calling the man more than twice a day, (and even that’s too much!). I have way too much stuff to do during the day to have that many conversations with him. Doing his laundry and cooking, well that started after I knew he was “THE ONE.” And shoot, I only do that sometimes. (But that’s what works for me!) I realized that Liza might be making some mistakes, and I recommended a book that I'd read a while back.
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Now I think this is a must-read for all ladies. I actually found this book on the subway around three years ago, and have since then loaned it to many friends. The book is written by Sherry Argov, who happens to be a comedienne. It is an incredibly humorous read that delivers a real message: Giving up your individuality for any man is not only unhealthy for you but it’s also a huge turn off for the man you’re with. Also overcompensating by doing way too much too soon or being too needy is a no-no!

I asked Tanzy about her relationship. Tanzy told me that when she first met her boyfriend, she treated him like she treated every other friend. She never waited for his call and when he did call, if she was free, she would pick up. If she wasn’t free, he would have to wait until she was available to hear from her. Sometimes it was a few minutes other times it was a few days. She hung out with her friends and would never break a date with them for a man (I really dislike when my friends forget they have friends once they have a boyfriend). Now three years later, her relationship is a lot closer but the bottom line is, both Tanzy and her boyfriend have lives together but separate lives as well and they are both crazy in love. She did not stop her life for her boyfriend, and that’s the basic message of this book. Also, Tanzy is incredibly secure about herself, and Liza is not. Liza constantly talks about the lipo she wants to get, yet Tanzy is way heavier than Liza, and thinks she’s God’s gift to the world. The book makes a valid point about that. “It is the attitude about yourself that a man will adopt.” And “Act like a prize and you’ll turn him into a believer.” If you know a woman who constantly gets broken up with, or who would cook a 6 course meal for a guy she shared glances with on the subway, then pass along this book. It may change her life and turn her into a Bitch= Being In Total Control of Herself.

Are you in a relationship? How do you keep it kicking?
Any words of advice for our readers?

Hugs as Always,

DE

14 comments:

Wes said...

Great post!! I love it... This might be a great time for your friend to rediscover herself as an individual. Prior to the relationship I'm in now, I was w/ my ex for about 6 years (from high school!!). After we split, I took the time to focus on myself and actually get to know ME. I had been so caught up w/ being in a relationship that I never got to know who I was (outside of that relationship).

MakeupByRenRen said...

i've read portions of that book too, and i defintely agree...i've made the mistake in teh best of putting my boyfriend first...you really have to remember who's number 1 and look out for your interests as well...

PBW said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book!

You also shouldn't give up your life once you say, "I do."

Men love women who are excited about their OWN lives and pursuits.

Beauty 365 said...

love the book recommendations!

keep 'em comin! and i am about to order that book on amazon right about now...

;)

Beauty 365
Beauty Every Day

Dominican Enigma said...

Wes: I told her the same thing, but she's one of those girls that can't be alone.

Dominican Enigma said...

Ren:I'm glad you realized that you were making a mistake.

Dominican Enigma said...

PBW: Best book ever. The lady is hysterical and her points are so inredibly valid.

Dominican Enigma said...

Beauty 365: make sure you get it. Her second book "why men marry bithes" is almost the same but I would stick with "why men love bitches"

cereza_negra said...

First time commenting...I love your page by the way.
[geeky voice]I favorited it, lol. :) [/geeky voice]

Now, I wouldn't call myself a b-tch, but I am an 18-years-young lady. I may not know what I want exactly, as it changes, but I know what I want when I see it, and that doesn't happen too often.

I'm mostly independent and I need my own space. I don't put up with B.S. - in any kind of relationship. I voluntarily have not been in a romantic relationship yet due to battling inner demons and just overall having *issues* for the majority of my teen years. I had to learn to love myself because I didn't wanna lose and confuse myself if I got into a relationship with someone else...or hurt someone else because of the love I didn't have for myself. I had to get to know and define myself so that I wouldn't end up allowing a boy (or girl) to do it. That said, I think I'm finally ready now. :)

ANYWAY, I'm a writer so sorry for being so long-winded. I definitely wanna check this book out, sounds pretty good and it sounds like something A LOT of girls need to read.

Again, I love your site, it's pretty badass.

yummy411 said...

good one! being in total control of herself! thanks for the rec!!

Mischo Beauty said...

Ok- I love the book reviews!!! Keep them coming! BTW- I picked up the last book- good, fast read! :)

Dominican Enigma said...

cereza_negra, you are a lot wiser than your years. Not many girls your age realize that they have issues and confront them hands on like you have. Thank you so much for favoriting me. It means so much. Hugs, DE

Luxe Tips said...

I totally agree. I am married, but I still keep my husband on his toes. I have to! Men love a challenge and if there is not a challenge, they are just not interested. When I keep my husband guessing and the fact I have my own career, life, and friends, he is like totally eating out of my hands!

Anonymous said...

totally agree . girls then boys i never make a man my main thought im young and im trying to live . im 19 in a serious long distant relationship its hard but we make it work . i love him and talk often distancce can either make or break a relationship and its making this one . i live in the dominican republic and he lives in miami he calls me 3 times a day to make sure im ok and we skype ofcourse he has his guy time and i have my girl time . we are totally in love but we have our seprate life as well . im not the skinniest and im not the richest i dont even cook but i keep my man happy and he does the same for me . surprise scalp massages and hide and go naked seek we keep it alive . spice things up . naked cooking . girls get broken up with because they are either needy are to detachted you need to kind the healthy middle

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