So as I wrote before, four of my good girlfriends are going through a break-up. Yesterday I took one of them out to lunch and we evaluated her situation. “Liza” (I’ve changed her name) is a stunning, girl, 27, a professional at a major magazine, incredibly sweet & loyal, but she’s also been broken up with by every guy she’s been with. I forgot to mention Liza’s girlfriend Tanzy was with us. Every guy Tanzy has been with has asked her to marry them. She’s in a great relationship right now but all of her exes are begging her to take them back. So Tanzy and I were asking Liza, what is it that she thinks goes wrong in her relationships. Liza’s first response was, “I don’t know. I cook, clean, do their laundry; call them all the time to make sure they’re good." Tanzy and I gave Liza a look of sheer horror. I love my boyfriend to death, but Good God Almighty! I can’t even picture myself calling the man more than twice a day, (and even that’s too much!). I have way too much stuff to do during the day to have that many conversations with him. Doing his laundry and cooking, well that started after I knew he was “THE ONE.” And shoot, I only do that sometimes. (But that’s what works for me!) I realized that Liza might be making some mistakes, and I recommended a book that I'd read a while back.
Now I think this is a must-read for all ladies. I actually found this book on the subway around three years ago, and have since then loaned it to many friends. The book is written by Sherry Argov, who happens to be a comedienne. It is an incredibly humorous read that delivers a real message: Giving up your individuality for any man is not only unhealthy for you but it’s also a huge turn off for the man you’re with. Also overcompensating by doing way too much too soon or being too needy is a no-no!
I asked Tanzy about her relationship. Tanzy told me that when she first met her boyfriend, she treated him like she treated every other friend. She never waited for his call and when he did call, if she was free, she would pick up. If she wasn’t free, he would have to wait until she was available to hear from her. Sometimes it was a few minutes other times it was a few days. She hung out with her friends and would never break a date with them for a man (I really dislike when my friends forget they have friends once they have a boyfriend). Now three years later, her relationship is a lot closer but the bottom line is, both Tanzy and her boyfriend have lives together but separate lives as well and they are both crazy in love. She did not stop her life for her boyfriend, and that’s the basic message of this book. Also, Tanzy is incredibly secure about herself, and Liza is not. Liza constantly talks about the lipo she wants to get, yet Tanzy is way heavier than Liza, and thinks she’s God’s gift to the world. The book makes a valid point about that. “It is the attitude about yourself that a man will adopt.” And “Act like a prize and you’ll turn him into a believer.” If you know a woman who constantly gets broken up with, or who would cook a 6 course meal for a guy she shared glances with on the subway, then pass along this book. It may change her life and turn her into a Bitch= Being In Total Control of Herself.
Are you in a relationship? How do you keep it kicking?
Any words of advice for our readers?
Hugs as Always,