Love Yourself First-then you can learn to love others!

As I think of this story this morning, I can’t help but laugh. However, yesterday, this was no laughing matter. Last night, as I was walking with my friend to her house, we spotted one of her neighbors in front of the grocery store. We stopped to chit chat with him for a few moments. All of a sudden, I hear a loud thud. I turn to my friend, and realize she is being attacked. A crazy woman is on top of her beating her with her fist. I grab a hold of this crazy woman and try to stop her from hitting my friend but by this point, she’s begun to attack me. My friends neighbor grabs a hold of the woman’s wrist and attempts so stop her. . I could not believe this was happening. I grab a hold of my friend who is still on the floor.

The neighbor began explaining to us that she was his ex wife, and she’s been stalking him for two years. I watched as he shouted at this woman, calling her a stalker, and a loser, and telling her that he would never ever get back together with her, no matter how much she begged. I watched as she cried, and pleaded with him to take her back, crying to him that she loved him. She was so engrossed in begging for this man’s love, that she forgot all about us. That happened to be one of the saddest and most pathetic things I’ve ever seen. I honestly began to feel bad for her. I asked myself a few questions. What could make a woman be so desperate as to lose her pride and stalk another human being? To approach another woman who she’s never seen before, and just attack her. But the saddest thing and the thing that disturbed me the most, was the way she begged this man to love her. Are you kidding me? Ladies, don’t ever beg any man/woman to love you. You are a gift to anyone, and if they don’t realize it, then find someone who will treasure what you can offer or just stay by yourself, and love you. But please don’t become a crazy stalker, and lose all your self-respect because of another human being. It’s not worth it. You’re better than that. As my friend and I began to walk/run away (DE has never been a fighter), I turned back and watched as the neighbor continued to scream at the woman and call her the most disgusting, and vile things you can call anyone. I watched the pain in her eyes and the tears running down her cheeks as he said those hurtful words, and I looked away, and said a prayer for her because I knew that if this woman could devote her life to loving a man who didn’t love her, then her life is missing love..for herself. Ladies, before you can love anyone, please learn to love you. That is the most important love you can have and it is the only way you can have a healthy relationship with anyone.

You’re a gift. Remember that. And believe me if one person doesn’t appreciate your treasures, a lot of others will.

If you're currently going through a breakup, I would advise this book I reviewed it last year.

Big Hugs,



BeautyXChangeGirl ......... said...

WoW - that's just crazy! Sorry you were involved in that situation. As ladies - we cannot let men define who we are nor can we let them validate our worth. As DE said Love yourself first, have faith in yourself and for every man that's not intersted in you there will be plenty of others.

ceecee said...

Wow. I almost find myself in this situation a few months ago. It got to the point where I started feeling like I was the one chasing this dude and once I realized it, I broke it off.

If you can DE, please take the extra step and ask the neighbor for his ex-wife's number so you can reach out to her and offer her direction to some counseling services, I don't believe that anyone is so far gone that they can't be helped.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh DE, so glad that you wrote this post. I see a lot of women who have gone bonkers for some guy who could've cared less about them. Girl, hell, I've even been there myself,but not to that extreme. Thank God I woke up! You are soooo right about being a gift and loving ourselves.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post. I actually broke up with my ex 5 months ago & I've been doing just fine, however he calls me (at work where I have to answer phone)once a month & some how always manages to really tick me off! I swear he's does it intentionally. Your post came right after his last call.
:-) I grabbed your book recommendation just before my Girls trip to Atlanta .Its a very funny & honest read, thanks. I decided to continue my man fast (was supposed to end Sept 1) until the new year & just focus on taking care of me & working hard on my goals.

Thanks for the inspiration!


CC said...

It is so sad how women feel they are not whole until a man is in their life. That is set up for disrespect and disaster.

You are so right love yourself first.


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