How To Keep Your Relationship ALIVE After A Baby!

I recently got an email from one of my readers who just gave birth. She was nervous because she had just had a baby but her marriage seemed to be suffering. Hey, I get it. Lil man came into my world, and he is  beyond adorable. However, newborns can provide an amount of stress that you can’t even believe and two people that may have had a great relationship before a child may suddenly find themselves at each others throats constantly. Here’s how to keep your relationship kicking after giving birth:

1)    Don’t forget about your mate. It’s easy to be consumed with your newborn. He’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on. But before your newborn, your significant other was probably the cutest thing you ever laid eyes on, and it’s important to make sure they realize that you still think they are wonderful and special. In another words, don’t forget to show your significant other attention too.
2)    Realize that a child is not the end of your sexy. After Lil man was born, I was intent on getting my figure back to where it was before lil Man. Although it took work, I’m almost there-around 10 more pounds to go. It’s easy to make excuses and say “Oh I just had a baby so I can eat a gazillion things” or “ I don’t need to work out, I just had a baby” or “I’m breast feeding, I can eat whatever I want.” Listen maintain your sexy and your beauty. You will feel a lot better after, and your mate will appreciate that too.
3)    When that newborn is asleep, make sure you and your mate are spending time together. Whether just hearing about his day or sharing a glass of water/wine together. Show him that just because you are the mother of his child doesn’t mean you’re not the same person you used to be. Many husbands can feel neglected after the birth of their child. Make sure you show your hubby that he’s still a huge priority in your life.
4)    It’s easy to be nasty when you’re exhausted. My mom recently told me she would no longer call me because she was tired of my attitude. But hey, when you average 3 hours of sleep a night, you’re not going to be Miss Jolly either.  But seriously if you have a loud argument with your hubby and you feel as if you may have overreacted because of your exhaustion or stress, don’t be scared or too proud to say sorry and explain the situation. Many times we expect our husbands to be mind readers.  ( I know I have.) But they aren’t, so communication is key. This is your relationship. The word Sorry is powerful.
5)    Last but not least, and this may not be possible for everyone but try to get a date night in. This is so important. You need to have a life with your hubby that doesn’t include your lil man or lil gal. If you have family (the only person I will leave lil man with is my mom or hubby’s mom) then beg them to give you a date night. Beg Beg Beg! I think I’m on my hands and knees evey week begging my mom for one, but believe me, it’s soooooo worth it.

Hope this helped.
If you had a baby, how do you keep your relationship kicking?




Gigi said...

I'm not a mommy but GREAT advice- sometimes it's good to be reminded about things you may not be paying attention to. I always love your relationship posts. :) Look forward to seeing more advice about keeping a happy healthy relationship alive

PE said...

It was always us against the child. We are a team and we made sure that as much as we love her, we constantly show and remember our love for each other FIRST.

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